Date: 12 Sep 91 02:33:38 GMT
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.advocacy
From: barrett@cs.umass.edu (Dan Barrett)
Subject: Latest BM innovations (was: Valium Hardware Comparisons)
Summary: BLAZEMONGER in '92
Keywords: Asmodeus, prongs


In various and sundry articles, several gazillion people write:
>[OS/2 is God, OS/2 bites, OS/2 is, OS/2 isn't, OS/2 late, etc...]

	First, I'd like to thank everyone folks for a beautifully reasoned,
polite, and fact-filled foray into the world of OS/2.  I know I certainly
learned a lot.  Like how to spell it.

	Anyway, I am writing with some GOOD NEWS!!  Thanks to you, we folks
at BLAZEMONGER INC. have decided to port BLAZEMONGER to the OS/2 platform!
Yes!  This should satisfy all you folks who were planning on upgrading your
Amigas to run this fine operating system, but didn't want to lose your
GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to BLAST SLIME-BREATHING ALIENS into TINY PIECES OF LUNCH
MEAT!!  And I don't blame you.

	But the good news doesn't stop there!  Not only are we *porting*
BLAZEMONGER... we are actually INTEGRATING BLAZEMONGER with OS/2, to form a
NEW, more POWERFUL, and [yes!] more VIOLENT operating system!!!
Introducing...

				B S / 2

Yes, BLAZEMONGER SYSTEM/2 is the FASTEST OPERATING SYSTEM in the KNOWN
UNIVERSE!!  NOTHING will be able to compete with it!!  UNIX, VMS, DOS, Mac
OS, Emacs... *all* of these operating systems will SHRIVEL AND DIE in the
wake of the MIGHTY BS/2.  Get a load of these AWESOME features:

	o	TRUE MULTITASKING!  Hundreds or even THOUSANDS of processes
		all running simultaneously in a BATTLE TO THE DEATH!!

	o	Over 500,000 LEVELS of FILESYSTEM for you to explore!!

	o	Total MEMORY PROTECTION!  Any program that attempts
		to fiddle with another program's memory is BLASTED
		INTO A MILLION PIECES!!

	o	RESOURCE TRACKING!  Thanks to an innovative AUTO-MAPPING
		facility, you will know EXACTLY where each resource is
		HIDING!!

	o	An unbelievable, multi-dimensional GUI!!  Windows with
		cracked glass, dripping blood, and UGLY HAGS peering out at
		you!  A mouse pointer shaped like a LASER DEATH RAY!
		Magic SCROLL BARS covered with RUNES!  And every file
		has TEN ICONS... but nine of them are DEADLY TRAPS!!

	o	Background daemons that are *REALLY* DAEMONS!!  When a file
		is sent to the printer, Yeenoghu Himself will hand you the
		hardcopy!

	o	Multi-threaded processes, constructed from the very webs
		of GIANT BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS!!


** PLUS:  a unique PROGRAMMER'S INTERFACE... with *TWO* fire buttons!!


	Yes, it's BS/2!  Coming soon to finer retailers all over the
MATERIAL PLANE!  Hurry and get your copy before IT gets YOU!!

                                                        Dan

 //////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
| Dan Barrett -- Grad student, Department of Computer & Information Science |
| University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA  01003  --  barrett@cs.umass.edu |
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ps:	I probably should respond to a few questions about BLAZEMONGER that
	I have been receiving by e-mail.  It would appear we have a few
	newcomers on the Net.

	(?)	"What is BLAZEMONGER?"

		BLAZEMONGER is the FASTEST GAME EVER WRITTEN!!  It was coded
		for MAXIMUM SPEED by DIRECTLY rearranging the magnetic
		particles on the disk -- no WIMPY programming languages for
		US!!  The game WHIZZES past your scorched eyeballs even
		before you can TEAR OFF THE SHRINK-WRAP!!!

	(?)	"Where can I get it?"

		REAL game-players KNOW where to get it.

	(?)	"Gosh, the above sounds suspiciously like a commercial.  I
		suppose you were involved in the creation and/or marketing
		of the thing?  If so, then the message is inappropriate for
		Usenet, unless of course you'd like to pay us all for
		distributing it for you."  [YES!  This is an ACTUAL QUOTE!!]

		THANK YOU for your insightful remarks.  We will try to
		work your suggestion into a future version of the game.
		[Snort!]


Copyright 1991 by Daniel J. Barrett.  All rights reserved.
This article may be freely distributed, but may not be included in any
publication without the written permission of the author.