From: barrett@cs.umass.edu (Dan Barrett)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.advocacy
Subject: CBM no more?
Summary: Commodore's annual retort
Keywords: prang, gleep
Date: 6 Nov 91 05:40:02 GMT

	OK, everybody, you can stop arguing about Commodore's annual
report.  It's all pointless now.  I just got this off CompuBixLink.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


	COMMODORE INTERNATIONAL BOUGHT OUT BY "MYSTERY" COMPANY
	      HOSTILE TAKEOVER LEAVES 18 DEAD, 2 MISSING

WEST CHESTER, Pa.  -- November 3, 1991 -- Personal computer manufacturer
Commodore International, makers of the popular "Amiga" computer, was the
target of a hostile computer takeover yesterday.  Several prominent analysts
have called the takeover the "fastest and most violent ever witnessed" in
the history of American business.

At approximately 4:15am Eastern Standard Time, the attacker struck.  The
exact method of attack is still not known, but witnesses report that the
entire operation was accompanied by "really, really mind-blowing graphics,
animation and sound."  Police on the scene immediately ruled out Apple and
IBM as suspects.

"It was terrifying," said one ex-CBM employee who requested anonymity.  "I
don't think I've ever been in a more frightening situation.  Everything
happened so fast.  One minute, I was sitting at my terminal, hacking OS 2.06,
and the next... I was flat on my back in the middle of the front lawn,
surrounded by flames.  I could swear I heard demonic laughter, explosions,
and the grinding of heavy machinery.  Only one thing's for sure:  whatever
it was, it happened fast.  I mean, really fast.  And violent."

Irving Gould, former CEO of Commodore, was unavailable for comment.  All of
Mr. Gould's 6,595,338 shares of Commodore stock were found shredded in the
basement of CBM headquarters.  Poor Poopsie.

The identity of the marauding corporation is still unknown, but FBI agents
are beginning to pick up the trail.  "We did find one small clue," said FBI
Inspector Reginald P. Blarno, "when we examined the tragic scene from
several hundred feet up in the air.  It looks like somebody took a gigantic
can of spray-paint and wrote the words 'BLAZEMONGER WINS AGAIN' on the roof
of the building.  We don't who this 'BLAZEMONGER' person is yet, but we have
a few leads."

------------

	Wow!  I wonder who did it?  I guess all we can do now is wait and
see if the "mystery corporation" will come forward.

	[Heh heh.]

                                                        Dan

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| Dan Barrett -- Grad student, Department of Computer & Information Science |
| University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA  01003  --  barrett@cs.umass.edu |
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Copyright 1991 by Daniel J. Barrett.  All rights reserved.
This article may be freely distributed, but may not be included in any
publication without the written permission of the author.