From: barrett@snoopy.cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett) Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.advocacy Subject: MONTHLY POSTING: BLAZEMONGER cheat sheet Summary: Everything you ever wanted to know about BLAZEMONGER but the truth Keywords: squirrel cha-cha Date: 8 Jul 92 21:13:59 GMT The BLAZEMONGER Cheat Sheet Version 666 July 1992 With your host... Bobby BlazeBleeder! Hey, BLAZE ON, DOODZ!! Here's your monthly JOLT of BLAZEMONGER cheats!! So, get ready, fire up those DISASSEMBLERS and SOLDERING IRONS, and pay attention! First, put the BLAZEMONGER Master Disk in your Amiga and press Ctrl-A-A to boot up. Slightly before you finish pressing the last "Amiga" key, the screen will briefly display the words "GAME OVER" -- ignore this, as it is normal to lose several games of BLAZEMONGER before the boot cycle begins. Now, watch carefully. During the boot sequence, you will see a totally blank screen for approximately 1 tenth of a second. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! Quickly, hold down both mouse buttons, all five joystick buttons, all ten function keys, all the alphanumeric keys EXCEPT for 'k', place your tongue carefully into DF1:, and HOLD STILL. [A few notes: first of all, resist the urge simply to remove the 'k' key and then sit on the keyboard. IT WON'T WORK! BLAZEMONGER will be able to tell you are cheating and will give you a large, electric shock right up the butt! (OOOEEE, that smarts!) You have to do it the hard way. Also, eat some pizza and drink a few bottles of cheap soda before doing this, so your tongue is better equipped to provide the essential hacker nutrients to the little BLAZEMONGER demons in your computer.] For the first minute, nothing will seem to happen. (In fact, the game will begin playing its introductory animation normally.) But after exactly 66 seconds, the screen will go blank, a 140-decibel explosion will sound from the audio outputs, and black slime will begin to pour out from DF1:. (KEEP THAT TONGUE IN THERE!!!) At 71 seconds, both your CIA chips will leap out of the computer, do a brief waltz on the table, and then jump back inside the case, huddling in fear. At 89 seconds, the image of Bing Crosby will appear on the screen, silently crooning the words from "I Want to Make Love to your Vomit" by Death Kleenex. (HOLD ON... ALMOST FINISHED!!) Finally, at 104 seconds, you'll lose consciousness. When you wake up, you're in BLAZEMONGER CHEAT MODE!! WaaaHOOOO!!! (That wasn't so bad now, was it?) The introductory animation should be running again, as if nothing had gone wrong, except the pixel at location <163,25> is displaying the word "cheatmode". So, what fun things can we do now? Click on the "cheatmode" pixel (don't miss it, or else you have to start all over) and a menu of options appears: (F1) Help (F2) Jump to level (F3) Infinite lives (F4) Obtain weapons (F5) Edit high score table (F6) Edit graphics (F7) Edit sounds (F8) Edit reality (F9) Remove copy protection (F10) Exit cheat mode WAIT!!! DON'T PRESS ANY FUNCTION KEYS!!!!!! (Argh, too late. You'll have to start again....) Even though it looks tempting, this screen is a FAKE, intended to fool any ARROGANT PSEUDO-CRACKERS who are STUPID enough to believe that BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED would put such a WIMPY cheat screen in the program. You see, these "cheat" commands REALLY mean: (F1) Low-level format hard drive (no confirmation) (F2) Fry 680x0 (F3) Melt Agnus (F4) Remove pins from Paula (F5) Dismember Denise (F6) Sodomize user with mouse (F7) Fill floppies with petroleum jelly (F8) Emit noxious odor (F9) Burst eardrums (F10) Explode, destroying everything in a 2 km radius So, it would really be best to IGNORE this screen entirely. Instead, find a spare RS-232 (modem) cable and, while the Amiga is still turned on, plug and unplug it in the serial port several times. The fake menu will disappear and be replaced by the first screen of BLAZEMONGER Level 1. Whew! Now you're ready to play, but you are actually in cheat mode! Press FIRE to start. The 45,000 crazed nuclear bees will attack as normal, but THIS time notice that their stingers have no effect! Yes, you are INVINCIBLE and ready to play for REAL! Whip out weapon 91 (brain-eating plasma -- no other weapons will do it) and WIPE OUT those stupid bees that have been killing you within the first few seconds EVERY OTHER TIME you played this game!! YEAH!! Doesn't it feel GREAT??? Oh, remember to throw the plasma at exactly a 61-degree angle (taking the planet's wind into account, of course) or else it won't work. Milliseconds later, the next enemy approaches: an entire herd of diabolical, diabetic, diamond-plated Draculas with diarrhea!! Oh no!!! But their evil sugar fixations and bloody stools are no match for your CHEAT MODE POWER. In this case, weapon number 3128 (poisonous feather-duster) is the most effective one to use -- WHAP!! The entire legion of disgusting creatures is annihilated instantly. Continue on like this, letting the enemies approach, and then using the right weapon, until you reach the Dark Tower. Uncle Fester from "The Addams Family" will let you in, bathe you, and give you the first Key. You need to collect all the Keys in preparation for the final battle against BLAZEMONGER HIMSELF on the last level. (See the manual, page 168, for more information.) This first one is the Key of Intense Gardening, which will eventually allow you to escape the Vine of Wrathful Grapes on level 750. Carefully place the key in your Pouch Of All Things Considered, and turn to face the staircase going upward. Step on the first stair, a trapdoor opens, and you fall........... Stupid idiot -- NEVER step on the first stair!! To get up the staircase, use the following stairs in order: 2, 3, 6, 7, 40, 2, 3, 6, 7, 40, 2, 3, 6, 7, 40, ... It will seem like pointless repetition, but after the 16th time, the staircase trap will be disabled, and you'll be able to climb the steps normally. EXCEPT FOR THE FIRST STAIR!!! Listen, dood... NEVER use the first stair of a staircase in BLAZEMONGER, unless there is a Bonus Life on it or a box of cheese bon-bons with fewer than 3 bon-bons uneaten. (Except on level 192, where the rule is reversed.) OK. So now you're at the top of the stairs. The corridor in front of you appears to be infinitely long, lined with paintings of famous dead people who have previously played your copy of BLAZEMONGER. Well, guess what? The corridor IS infinitely long. You won't die if you walk down it (thanks to CHEAT MODE), but it is extremely boring. Instead, drill a hole in the floor immediately in front of you, and slide your body into the hole. Inexplicably, it is filled with liquid nitrogen, but don't worry -- you're in CHEAT MODE, so you don't have to solve this puzzle. Just duck your head and swim to the end of the tunnel. (You'll have to kill a lot of monsters on the way, but that is simple for you by now.) At the end of the tunnel, the liquid nitrogen spills over the edge into a gigantic meat grinder. DO NOT go into the meat grinder!! For some reason, even CHEAT MODE doesn't protect you here. [If anybody figures out why, please let me know!!] Instead, balance yourself on the edge of the meat grinder's blades (CAREFULLY...) and jump to the ground. Now pull the first lever you see -- it doesn't matter which one it is, as long as it's the FIRST one you see. Don't mess up here. This lever disables a VERY disgusting trap on level 88 that, even though it can't hurt you in cheat mode, would have REALLY grossed you out. It grosses me out just thinking about it. Those poor poodles. At this point, you should be just about next to the sign that says "Level 2 this way ----->". Ignore the arrow -- it's a lie (of course). Tear down the sign and eat it. NOW follow the direction that the arrow used to point. Keep a little bit of the sign in your mouth because you'll need it in a few levels when you reach the Otter Keeper. W H E W ! Well, that's all for this month's installment!! Until next time, DOODZ, Keep On BLAZIN'!! DISCLAIMER: These cheats apply only to the original BLAZEMONGER version 1.00000000000. Later versions are "cheat-protected" and are REALLY tough to get into. Dan //////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ | Dan Barrett -- Dept of Computer Science, Lederle Graduate Research Center | | University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA 01003 -- barrett@cs.umass.edu | \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////////////////////////////// --- Copyright 1992 by Daniel J. Barrett. All rights reserved. This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its entirety. It may not be included in any publication without the written permission of the author. So nyaaah.